Emotional Vamps – NaBloPoMo #15

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vamp

The setting sun strikes fear in my soul
I need the light to keep from getting cold
The sun brings warmth and comforts me
Nighttime is the right time for everyone but Li

I shut myself inside like a scared child
Hoping and praying this time it will be mild
I can’t see my hand in front of my face
God help me to escape this place.

They creep in the night because they can see
Nightvision is their advantage over me
I fight and kick, but never scream
Hoping and praying it’s just a dream.

I wake in the morning scared to death
Panting and coughing trying to catch my breath
I fought this time down to the wire
Who can survive these Emotional Vampires?

Two Slice Hilly: Eating humble pie without the consequences

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pie

Seeing this picture inspired me to create some buzz about being humble and remembering there are other people in the world besides you. It’s easy to get carried away with success, especially when you’ve worked very hard for your success. The truth is, most people work hard for what they have, even if they started out with an advantage. Having a big head is not cool and will alienate your friends and family. Before you accuse someone of being a hater, take a look in the mirror and see if you may have contributed to their reactions. There is a good chance the so called hate is just their way of saying you need to calm down and be more humble. It’s true, there are people in your life who are just plain jealous and will never be happy for you no matter what, however, there are also tons of good people who want to see you succeed. There is a fine line, but you must train yourself to know the difference. Pay attention to the way people:

Look at you when they think you’re not looking – Do they roll their eyes when you say something or are they genuinely interested in what you are saying?
Talk about you when you are not around – Are they running you down or are they cheerleaders?
Show up to support your events – Are they usually at your events with smiles or are they always absent and/or complaining?
Ask you to join them for activities – Are you invited to join in with their fun or are you never invited?
Post about you on social media – Is there shade going on or do they happily post about your events and ventures?

If you notice people in your circle are being shady or they just don’t seem interested in what you are doing check yourself first, then check out their actions and determine their intent. Sometimes you need to just cut your losses and move on, but if the culprit is you, don’t be afraid to swallow your pride and apologize. Don’t be like Two Slice Hilly… Eat the humble pie before they put in more than that good vanilla from Mexico!

Living in a Fantasy World (Part 2 of 3) (Continued from Day 4 Post)

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Writing 101: Day 13 Serially Found
(Earlier in the course, you wrote about losing something. Today, write about finding something. For your twist, view day four’s post and today’s post as installments in a series.)

octavia1

Sometimes living in a fantasy world is the only way for a young girl to cope with pain. In my instance I used this escape as a coping mechanism to keep my pain of loss at bay. The day my dad left was a very shocking and degrading experience. Some things went down on that day that I never imagined existed, yet alone were happening in my own home. I won’t go into details because, as my husband says, it will not help anyone, but the things I saw were frightening. This day was a point of no return for my mom; He had to go and I was in agreement.

Just because I agreed with my mom’s decision doesn’t mean I stopped loving him and since he was very close to me, I had to find a way to deal with my emotions. My trust in people was shaken because if the one person who I admired was totally different than who I thought he was, how could I trust myself to be a good judge of character. As a child I did not understand that some people are good at wearing disguises and that it does not reflect on my ability to have good judgment. All I knew was my dad lived an alternative life and my family had no idea. By this time my oldest of my sisters were adults and no longer lived at home. It was just my sister Karen, my brother James and me. Because they had their own things going on and because I was afraid to express myself I chose to retreat into a world of reading and fantasy.

When I read it gave me solace from the real world and I could imagine people and places the way I wanted them to be. My imagination began to grow and I daydreamed a lot. I never thought about it before, but I now realize being abandoned by my father caused my distrust in people. It takes me a very long time to trust people with my thoughts and feelings and as a result I come off as disinterested and cold. In truth I am not standoffish, I am analyzing people and trying to figure out if they are being genuine or fake. Reading has helped me in this aspect because it introduced me to several different types of personalities and the way different people’s minds work. Yes, I realize they are not real people, but they could be and that is the coolest thing about reading. That spy in the book could be my next door neighbor, or the boy sitting next to me at school could be a real super hero. OK maybe I took it too far, but you catch my drift.

My love for reading has endured over the years and one of my favorite ways to find new people, places and things. As an adult I realize that I am somewhat of an introvert and as I get older I see it more and more. In my early 20’s I was introduced to the writing of Octavia E. Butler and I lost my mind! I was fascinated because not only was she a black writer in the genre of fantasy/science fiction, she was in fact a female! Her mind was amazing and she remains at the top of my list of favorite writers. Her novel Kindred really spoke to me and I was thrilled to attend a lecture she did for the Charlotte, NC library system. Her words and experience touched me and when I met her at the meet and greet she was kind, but she seemed introverted as well. It made me realize it was possible to do things outside of the box. I could be something other than what was expected of me.

As wrong as it may sound, I now realize the absence of my dad allowed me to find a love for reading, writing and fantasy worlds. The universe noticed that a major love was taken from me so it provided a new type of love as a filler. I am grateful…

Writing 101: Day 7 – Give and Take

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Focus today’s post on the contrast between two things. The twist? Write the post in the form of a dialogue.

Camping vs. hotel

This scene is a discussion between a husband and wife about what they would like to do on the weekend. The husband is an outdoors man and the wife a person who hates outdoor activities.

Loren asks, “So honey, what do you have planned for us this weekend?” “I was thinking we could go up to Georgia this weekend” Mark replied. “Alright!!! We can shopping and to the museum; maybe find a cool restaurant and then later we can have cocktails in the hotel bar. I can’t wait.”

“Wait, what? I was thinking more like a camping trip where we could go kayaking and swimming and maybe a hike before cooking on a campfire. We can make s’mores for dessert. You like s’mores don’t you?” Mark said.

“Yeah, I don’t think so. You know good and well I hate camping. What would make you think I would want to sleep outside with all those bugs and animals; not to mention SNAKES!”

“I thought you would enjoy the fresh air, the beauty of the night sky and the sheer joy of being in nature living off the fat of the land.”

“Really, you thought I, the person who lives to eat in restaurants and can’t be outside more than five seconds without breaking out, would love a torture session of camping.”

“Honey, camping is fun. Kayaking is one of the most peaceful things to do on earth.”
“Yeah, right after being burned at the stake.”

“What do you want me to do, cancel the reservation at the campgrounds?”

“Uh, Yeah!”

“Why can’t you try something new just this once? We never get to do what I want, it’s always about you.”

“I always do thing you want, but to prove you wrong I will agree to go; but I am NOT sleeping outside. You will need to get us a hotel.”

“Fine!”

“Fine!”