Candyland – NaBloPoMo #6

The world continues on its crazy downward spiral and social media is not helping. While I love the ability to mass communicate with friends and strangers at the same time from the comfort of my home, some people are abusing its genius. One such person is comedian Artie Lange. This man took to Twitter with his sexual fantasy of turning ESPN Host, Cari Champion into a slave and attempting to whip her. He also very vilely addressed his need to masturbate while watching this very professional woman on a morning sports talk show. Lange has now been banned from ESPN as a result of his conduct that he now claims was a joke.

I have no doubt he intended this as a joke, but here is where he fails: If you are a member of a race of people who once oppressed the race of the other person you cannot tell jokes about slavery and it be taken as just a joke. The shit just ain’t funny! Lange issued a weak apology in a statement, but also said “I know black women who could join me and handle it.” If that’s the case those women are a part of the problem. Your black female “friends” should have checked you for spewing such venom and let you know it is not cool.

Let’s take race out of the equation for a second and say he never even mentioned slavery; The fact that he feels it is ok to joke about masturbating and fantasizing about Ms. Champion, or any woman for that matter, on Twitter and calling it a joke is just plain stupid. The reality is he did both of these disgusting things and tried to hide behind his job as a comedian when he got called out.

I am a pretty liberal person and tend to have an eclectic sense of humor, but his so called jokes touched a nerve. It’s bad enough that women have to fight tooth and nail to get the respect they have earned; Ms. Champion is a respected co-anchor of a sports talk show who holds her own with two of the most prominent men in sports broadcasting. Sure she is beautiful, but I am sure that is not what she wants to be known for. In a male dominated world she has made a name for herself by working hard and being very knowledgeable about all things sports related. It’s clear that she is great at her job and looks good while doing it. Why is that a problem for men? If she were less attractive would they take her more seriously? Why should she have to put up with this horny, childish man’s Django Candyland fantasy? Women should be able to go to work without having to worry about men’s inability to control their sexual urges. At least before social media, men were smart enough to keep those thoughts to themselves.

Here’s a tip for Artie Lange, USE YOUR FILTER! Everyone has one and it’s usually a big help before posting to Twitter. Fantasies are just that, keep them to yourself. Better yet, try controlling your urges and grow up. You are not a 20 something college boy with raging hormones, you are a grown man who is supposed to know better. I would hope he learned his lesson, but after reading his Twitter page I now see there was no responsibility taken. Even though I am a huge optimist, I have realized you can’t destroy Candyland!

Finding My Authentic Voice – NaBloPoMo #5

With the one year blogiversary of Rebirthoflisa coming up this month, this prompt about finding my authentic voice is very timely. It is a time for reflection and self-discovery. I started this blog because I had a need to be heard and I wanted to build my readership to allow more people to read what I have to say. I intended my blog to be a place where I could narrate the goings on in the world that interested me, but never thought of sharing my own guarded life with strangers. I thought of it as a means to an end because I wanted to be a writer and the only way to do so is to actually write. I never expected for it to grow to what it has become. I started with one follower, my sister and wanted to expand to others, but didn’t know how. Somewhere along the way I learned about networking and linking up with other bloggers and found that I am not alone. Everyone wants to be heard and I am now open to hearing those voices in conjunction with expressing my own.

I have come across some great people who share the same views as I, as well as some who are totally opposite in their thinking. I have tried to be fair and not pre-judge people by their profile pics, which we all do either consciously or subconsciously, or by their choice of topics. Keeping an open mind has allowed me to read some very profound poetry and get excited about writing my own. I have read about suicidal thoughts and been brought to tears from reading the brutally honest rantings of people in pain. All of these experiences have allowed me to tap into my own voice and express my deepest, most personal thoughts to the world. I found vulnerability in writing that I never had before and I love it. At first it was uncomfortable and I did not want to write, but I pushed myself and the results were pieces of work that I am proud to share.

As I celebrate my first blogiversary on November 22nd, I realize how much better I have become at expressing myself on a personal level. I look forward to my continual learning by participating in more challenges and courses. I cherish the relationships I am building and I am excited to host my own events on my blog. One such event was an idea I learned from a fellow blogger, Eclectic odds n sods, just today. I am planning my first Blog Party Event to coincide with my annual celebration and the countdown has started. Only 17 days left until the Big Day and I hope you will join me. Keep an eye out for more info on my blog…

Writing 101: Unlock the Mind

I decided to upgrade my writing skills by taking the Writing 101 course on Word Press. The first assignment is to “Unlock Your Mind” by writing for 20 minutes straight with no real purpose so here goes…

What makes people do the things they do? Why will one person go with the flow while another person pitches a fit at the smallest things? Are we bound to be like our parents or can we change the outcome of our future by learning from different sources.

When I was young, I felt like my mom was the center of the universe, Super Woman, if you will. In my mind there was nothing she could do wrong and I wanted to be just like her when I grew up. My older siblings did not share my enthusiasm and thought she was mean. Now that I am an adult, I have a different way of thinking about her because she no longer is seen as a super hero. I love my mom and will never cast her as a villain, but I wonder why she did some of the things she did. I have always been a sensitive person and kind of empathetic. What makes people tick and why they do the things they do are questions that I need answered. I never wanted to be a therapist per say, but I craved the knowledge. Whenever something happens my first instinct is to ask why or how. I find this a great trait as I pursue a career in writing.

Getting back to my mom, she was hard working and the type of black woman who kept her head down and did not cause trouble. Not to say she was a coward by any means because if trouble found her you could best believe she would annihilate it with ease. What I mean is when she went to work she did her job and as she was told unless it was something absolutely crazy. She was born in the 30’s in rural Virginia and had children at a young age out of wedlock so she had to do what she had to do to survive. Her mom died when she was 12 years old and she had to fend for herself being one of 17 children. As a black female growing up back then she had very limited options on how to earn money. I know she once wanted to be a nurse because she told me when she tried without success to make me study to be one. Mom has always been talented in the kitchen and worked several years in a restaurant in her home town. She has a special way about her when she cooks and can make anything taste amazing! I marveled at her cooking ability when I was young and she shared her gifts with me. I am proud to say I can burn in the kitchen as a result. Even though she could cook anyone out of the kitchen, she never had the ambition to pursue her dreams. As a matter of fact I don’t recall her ever expressing her dreams to her children. This must have seemed like a waste of time for her because she had mouths to feed and dreaming would not do it.

Most of my life I remember her being a maid and serving parties to earn a living. She has done several other jobs to make ends meet, but those were her staples. Thinking back I wonder why she never opened a catering company. She was always volunteering at the church whenever they sold plates and she would cook what seemed like a ton of potato salad, green beans and BBQ chicken. She was always the organizer and delegated who would do what. She was a BOSS in the biggest since of the word when it came to those church sales. I wonder what kind of life she would have if she used those skills to build her own business.