Guest Blog – Childless Woman – Twyla Turner

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A Childless Woman…By Choice

by Twyla Turner

childless headerI am a woman. My choice not to have children doesn’t make me any less of one. Luckily, I either surround myself with amazingly non-judgmental people or those around me seem to know better than to say the standard line of comments when they find out that I don’t want children…

“That’s selfish.”

“Don’t you want a baby of your own?”

“Your life would be so much fuller with a child.”

So, on and so forth.

Although, I have heard, “It’s different when they’re your own.”

Yeah, I know. When they’re your own, they’re there pretty much 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. You don’t get a break. Or at least not many. That’s very different from the freedom I have 24/7 right now.

But I do commend and admire those who can raise children. If not for them, the world would not be populated and I would not be here.

I will say this, though. There are a lot of moms out there who dupe unsuspecting potential mothers. They always talk about how wonderful it is being pregnant or the joys of every stage of their child’s life. The way they talk about childrearing is like an Instagram feed. All the highlights of your life. Not until you’re pregnant (and too late) do they start dropping truth bombs…

“Ugh! Isn’t sleeping horrible?”

“Oh, have you gotten gestational diabetes yet?”

“Yeah, aren’t blowouts the absolute worst?!”

“Have you ever been more tired in your life? My baby didn’t sleep through the night either.”

“Oh, I forgot how painful sex is after giving birth. It’s terrible, right???”

Yeah, no. You ladies aren’t fooling me. Misery loves company. I know, I know. There is no love like the love a mother has for her children. But my motto is: What you don’t know won’t kill you.

I believe it’s a conspiracy. These women who don’t tell the whole truth just want their friends to be as equally stressed and miserable as them, so they have someone to talk to about it. I mean, for real! Have you ever been a single woman in a room full of women who are pregnant or have children? They CANNOT stop talking about their experiences. Bonding over the joys, but mainly the misery and frustrations. Comparing how swelled their feet are to see whose is bigger. Or whose kid had the worst blowout. Don’t fall for it, childless women. The Stepford Wives are just trying to pull you into the abyss. If you want kids, go into it with full knowledge. Find one of those moms who tell it to you straight, and maybe even begs you not to do it so she can live vicariously through you as a single woman having fun adventures.

Personally, I’ve never wanted children. Even as a child, I knew I didn’t want kids. I think part of it was being teased for being chubby. I didn’t want to have a child who could potentially go through that. And I also felt like the world was going to hell in a handbasket and didn’t want to bring a child into that. That was back in the late 80s and early 90s. The world has gotten a heck of a lot crazier since then and raising kids a heck of a lot more complicated with the advent of the internet and social media. It’s just too much.

There have been a few times that I considered the idea of having children. Those times always involved a damn man. Ha! I daydreamed about what our kids would possibly look like. But wanting to know how adorable your kids will be is NOT a good enough reason to have them. That cute shit wears off and you’re stuck changing diapers, cleaning up vomit, helping with homework you don’t understand, running them around to soccer practice and ballet classes, and everything in between all because you were curious about what your kid would look like. Nah…snap out of it Twyla!

It also helps that I’m infertile. It’s not something that was diagnosed, I’m just pretty sure of it. Not that it stops me from being careful. Accidents do happen.

Even as I write this, I stumbled upon a post on Facebook that fits this subject matter perfectly…

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The caption reads: “The weight on a mother’s shoulders created into a piece of art work.”

I know some childless women would kill to experience that. To know what that life is like. And I respect their dreams to have that and I respect those who live the life of a mom depicted in this artwork. But that life is NOT FOR ME!!! Looking at this photo gives me anxiety. Call me lazy, but I just don’t want to put in that kind of work. And I believe that a child deserves a mom who will put in 100% about 85-90% of the time. For me, it would feel like a prison. I love my freedom. I’m a nomad and love to move from place to place when the mood strikes. You can’t do that with a child. Or you can, but it wouldn’t be fair to the child, who needs stability.

So, to the moms out there, including my own, I salute you. What you do for your children and the world is astounding. To the childless women who want to be moms, I wish you luck, but don’t forget for every childless woman there are probably 2+ momless kids out there who would die for a mother…http://bit.ly/loving_family

But as for me, it’s a no go. And if I ever do change my mind, there are tons of children looking for good homes. I’ll take any age from 5-17. Yep, I said it. Seventeen is perfect. They’re out the house in one year. Ha! And five is great because they’re potty trained, can speak, and mildly self-sufficient (or at least usually). But in reality, I think I’d make a better mentor. I’d much rather take a few kids, probably teenagers, under my wing and give them life advice and the like. Now that would be fulfilling enough for me.

Twyla Bio

Guest Blog – Childless Woman – Laura Hull

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Childless Woman

by Laura Hull

childless headerI am 43 years old, I am married, and I have no children.

Lately, my husband and I have been discussing the possibility of getting a dog. I love dogs. If I see a dog in public, I want to pet it, and I want it to like me. Even so, I’ve never owned a dog, so the prospect of connecting with and taking care of one myself is a bit daunting, since I’ve never had a front row seat to observe dog ownership. After all, I can’t mimic something I’ve never seen done.

Children are great too. I admire and respect families for the work they put in to raising babies through all the stages into terrific adults. But I have barely the slightest idea how that happens because I didn’t see it modeled as a child; it just wasn’t part of my experience.

When I was young, my father was an officer in the U.S. Army so we moved around a lot. While this nomadic childhood took us many places, it also severely restricted my time spent with younger cousins and even small children of neighbors and family friends as I grew up. As a rule, my brother and I were the youngest kids in any neighborhood we moved into, so my time spent with babies and younger kids was all but nil.

Knowing how to interact with kids of various ages, especially the younger ones, always seemed to come naturally to everyone else, but it never did to me. Even as an in-demand babysitter in several neighborhoods where we lived, I didn’t click with kids. I was good at keeping them safe and fed and getting them to bed on time, but I struggled to connect with them. It was like they spoke a different language.

In my teens and early 20s, many of my peers already knew they wanted children in the future. I would joke that I’d wait until someone came out with a machine-washable model. During those years, I didn’t feel the driving need to be a mother. Meanwhile, in public places, like supermarkets, toddlers in grocery carts would always stare wide-eyed at me. It felt as if they knew my maternal instinct was somehow lacking.

My husband of ten years is a dozen years older than me and has two sons from his previous marriage. When he and I met — about two weeks after my thirtieth birthday — his older son was twenty years old and the younger was just about to turn eighteen. As our relationship got more serious, we talked many times about children. He told me he loved being a father but liked that the chaos of babies and children was behind him. Meanwhile, my biological clock was ticking. That “now or never” feeling was hard to ignore, even though I still wasn’t completely sure I wanted to commit to being a mother.

When we decided to get married, he acknowledged that he wouldn’t mind to be a father again. I figured whatever was lacking in my knowledge of babies and children would be filled in with books and online resources and whatever natural instinct might still be left in my DNA. After the wedding, we tossed the birth control. We figured I was healthy, so I’d be pregnant in no time.

Months went by. Then more months. After a couple years passed, we looked into medical intervention. At my first appointment, the doctor informed me I have “inadequate ovarian follicles.” (Great, one more thing to feel inadequate about!) Based on the odds of our situation, and faced with spending tens of thousands of dollars on a “maybe” plus a lot of injections and invasive procedures, we passed on fertility treatments.

Realizing we weren’t going to have our own children, we briefly looked into adoption. It didn’t feel like the right thing for us.

At that point, we considered maybe we weren’t meant to have children together. After discussing it, we chose to move forward and pursue other life experiences, rather than continue to keep our lives on hold while trying to get pregnant.

Sometimes I feel guilty about not having children. A part of me says we should have children (or adopt or foster) because we have a good income, because we have a nice house with some extra space, because I don’t have to work, etc. Furthermore, my husband and I are both intelligent, moderately healthy and attractive, and well-traveled. We have varied interests, access to experiences and education, as well as a functional and loving extended family. It’s not hard to argue that our choice to remain childless is pure selfishness.

Sometimes I feel sad about not having a child, about not experiencing motherhood. Occasionally, I feel a little twinge of heartache — a fleeting thought of “what if” — when I attend baby showers or interact with other people’s precious babies and children. Children represent hope for the future, and everyone needs a little hope in their lives, right? With each year that passes, I worry more and more about who will look after me when I am old. The gap in our ages all but guarantees my husband will leave me widowed. Having an adult child to look in on me would likely reduce or eliminate my fear of the loneliness and uncertainty I will face when my husband passes.

My only true regret about not having a child is that my mother did not get to be a grandmother. (My only sibling, my brother, is also childless by choice.) My mother deserved to have grandbabies. She once told me that she got herself through a lot of hard times since my father died by focusing on the idea that someday she’d have grandkids and it would all be worth it. I hate that I didn’t make that come true for her.

While I still occasionally experience a little guilt, sadness, and regret, I realize none of them were the right reason for me to have a child. To commit myself to parenthood out of a feeling of obligation, or for fear of missing out, or to provide myself a caretaker, or to entertain my mother would have been the ultimate self-centered act and no child deserves to be the product of selfishness.

Overall, I’m happy with my child-free life. I think I could have been happy either way, but I’m grateful for how it all worked out. My husband and I spend plenty of time with family, especially his grown sons and their wives, we travel at a moment’s notice, we support the arts, we volunteer with local charities, and we read and learn constantly. Bottom line: My life is full; it is complete.

Laura Bio

 

Guest Blog – Childless Woman – Shari Edwards

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No Regrets

by Shari Edwards

childless headerI’m a 49-year-old, single, black woman . . . with no children.

Over the years, I’ve been asked “when are you going to give your parents some grandchildren?” or “why don’t you have children?” Personally, I think these questions are invasive, personal and often very offensive.  People fail to think before asking a woman such questions because they don’t know the woman’s personal situation. Perhaps she’s unable to get pregnant, suffered a personal medical trauma, or just simply chose to not have kids.

For me, having kids was part of my “I plan to get married at this age and have kids by this age” stage, but I knew that having kids without being married or in a committed relationship was not an option for me.  I grew up in an old school household with old school parents. I can remember hearing my parents comment or have conversations about women (sometimes family members) who had children out of wedlock.  And believe me, those conversations entailed some choice words. So, deep down, I didn’t want to be under their eye of scrutiny and disappointment.

As I grew older, I chose to not let my parents’ opinions weigh me down. But,honestly, bearing children just never became an obsession. Not having children never made me feel less than a woman.It just became my own personal choice. However, as time went on, my parents became my focus.  As far back as college, I visited my parents twice a month, and that routine never changed — no matter where I lived.  Now, what has changed is the frequency of the visits.  Both of my parents are up in age and require more time and attention.

Fortunately, I work remotely (from home) which is a blessing in disguise —allowing me to be able to work from their home as well.  Given their advanced age, we (my brother and I) must attend their medical appointments, assist with their bills, etc. So the tables have turned. The roles and responsibilities have reversed as my parents have, in a sense, become my (our) children.  Although they can be quite challenging at times, they raised my brother and me to be patient, caring and empathetic people.

I think back and realize that not having children has allowed me to freely and unconditionally care for my parents.  I’m doing for them what they did for me growing up, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.  My brother doesn’t have children either, so I often wonder who will take care of us when we’re advanced in age.  Certainly, my parents are blessed to have us. But, without kids of our own, I often wonder who will take up this mantle for us?

Shari Bio

Guest Blog – Childless Woman – June Joyner-Bynum

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Accepting the Empty Womb

By: Divine Connections

childless headerThe dreaded question: why you do not have children? I have been asked that question hundreds of times. And it has been one of the most offensive questions anyone can ask a woman that does not have children. Whether she has made it a personal decision, or if it is a medical issue, it can be a gut punching question. Sometimes I ask myself do people really understand how offensive it is to ask questions about a woman’s fertility.

Now that I am 49 years old, I find it more of an insult than a concern that some may pretend to have. Over the years I have always answered I’m too young or not ready. Now, age has revealed the devastating news that it will never happened. It leaves you in position of hiding a public secret that nobody wants to talk about. For me, not having any children was not my personal choice. My body made the choice for me without my permission. I think that is the worst kind of betrayal, being double crossed by your own body.

From a young girl it always seemed to be so easy to have a baby. Every female around me was pregnant, but no one talked about the flip side of the coin; not being able to have a baby. I feel, as a black race, we do not talk about our female family members that do not have or could not have children. We have created a secret society that women, like myself, who desire to have children, but cannot because of medical issues. I think the pain becomes even worse when you do not have the outlet to grieve the loss of a child you never had.

Even now, being a Christian, it’s never discussed in the original text it was presented. The bible used the word barren. The definition describes it as; not producing or incapable of producing offspring, unproductive, unfruitful. The definition itself seems cruel and hurtful to describe a woman’s status. In the church we preach from the scripture about Hannah, who was barren, but we never really dealt with the issues that came along with that very subject. I guess if we don’t talk about it, it really doesn’t exist. For my entire adult life, I have sat back and suffered in silence right in church, because being barren is taboo to discuss. Not being able to have a baby, means you do not have faith in your God.

The most ignorant statement a woman can make to another woman who cannot haveBarren children is “you are blessed.” How can you be unfruitful and blessed at the same time? I have accepted the fact that God’s answer to my prayers about having children was No! I decided to embrace being a childless woman and accepted God’s Will for my life; to help other women who will be in my same situation one day. It will be a link to my ministry; a childless woman ministering to other childless women.

You can’t really help someone with an issue you never had. It’s hard to say ‘I understand’ when you haven’t ever walked in those shoes. I accept the calling upon my life for God to use me to speak life and encouragement into women who are facing the same answer from God as I did, No! It was not my choice, but God’s Will.  Now I understand the words of God that say, “God will not put more on you than you can bear.”

In the beginning it did not seem like I could bear the thought of me not having children, but over time the weight has become lighter. Believe it or not, I really was angry with God for a long time. But God and I turned that anger into passion. I thank God and author Lisa W. Tetting for the opportunity to express, for the first time in writing, a real serious struggle that is alive today. This will be the start of a new beginning for a lot of women around the world, who really need an outlet to express their disappointment of being a childless woman… Not By choice. I, June Joyner-Bynum, am “Accepting the Empty Womb.”

June Bio

Childless Woman Guest Blog – Intro

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I  have been thinking about doing a guest blog on this topic for a few years now, but recently I was inspired by a debate I saw on Instagram on the For Harriett timeline. A lady wrote an email to them talking about people always asking her aunt when she was going to have a baby. Unfortunately in that case, the girl’s aunt had been trying to have a baby, but had suffered several miscarriages. It was very painful for the aunt to talk about, but friends, family and strangers all felt the need to ask her such a personal question.

Well, that struck a cord in me. I felt for the young lady’s aunt having to answer those questions over and over again, but I also know that not everyone’s story is the same. It made me think of all of the times I have been asked that same intrusive question. I realized that many other women have had this same experience and it might just do some good to talk about i – Get it out in the open and free ourselves from the unwarranted judgment of others.

After doing a bit of research, I found being childless in this country, at least, is more common than you may think. Although this guest blog is focusing on women over the age of 30, sometimes women make the decision earlier in life and take steps to ensure they don’t slip up. The video below details Christen Reighter’s struggle to get her health care providers on board to tie her tubes when she explained she did not want children.

 

The purpose of this feature is to empower women to feel free to choose if they want to be mothers, or not and to give them an outlet to voice any frustrations or concerns about society’s expectations of women. It is also to educate those people who insist on asking women when they are going to have a baby. It is a personal choice, but sometimes it is not a choice! Stop asking women this question or when they are going to get married. It is not your business, and as women we don’t need to tear each other down. Instead try lending a shoulder or an ear or just leave the subject alone, altogether. Worry about yourself!

In this feature we will hear from six women, from different walks of life, trying to live their lives without the added pressure of worrying about having a baby they either don’t want or can’t have. Enjoy!

Childless Women

 

The Opposite of Hew By Lisa W. Tetting Release Day Blitz

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Just Call Me Kay

opposite of  hew cover.jpg

The Opposite of Hew
A BWWM Novella by Lisa W. Tetting
Kay McQueen is different from the women in her family. She lives her life for her, not
for a man. Though she enjoys an occasional romp with a sexy man, she is not looking
for Mr. Right. Her goals in life are to build her home health care business, and to travel
the world. Well, at least she has her business life together. The travel thing, not so
much. That is until her favorite aunt passes away, leaving a journal with her final
wishes.
As far as Kay knows, Aunt Gigi is the ultimate single girl, the life of the party, even
pushing eighty years old. What she finds in Gigi’s journal causes her to rethink her
position on love and marriage. She embarks on a dual purpose journey; to scatter Gigi’s
ashes and to discover love. Along the…

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The Opposite of Hew – New Release

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Hi Lovies,

opposite of hew coverJust a quick note to let you all know about my latest project. I have written an Interracial Romance Novella entitled The Opposite of Hew! The book will be released on July 27th and is currently on pre-order on Amazon.

Here’s the Deetz:

Kay McQueen is a woman who goes against the grain. She wants no part of love or romance. When her beloved aunt passes away, she embarks on a journey of self-discovery. She meets Heath Novack and discovers they have more in common than either of them think. However, when she learns the truth about who he really is, can she forgive his deception or will she realize she has known the truth all along?

This is not your typical romance. Happily Ever After isn’t always what it seems.
A BWWM Romance

Pre-order your copy today by clicking here! This will be the first time I am using Kindle Unlimited, so if you have a subscription, you can read it for FREE after the release date.

 

Indie Shine – Demond Alverez

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Welcome to another edition of Indie Shine, a place for Rebirthoflisa to shine the spotlight on indie artists. Today we welcome author Demond Alverez.

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©Demond Alverez used with permission

Bio:

Demond Alverez has been writing creatively for over twenty years. His love of the arts was cultivated in church where he sang in the choir and participated in in plays. During this same time, his love for writing was birthed.

Soul of A Man: Poetry for the Mind, Body and Soul is Demond’s first creative writing gift to the world. This book is a collaboration of deep poetic soul that is designed to stimulate the inner being of the reader through truth, rhyme and reason.

The purpose behind Demond’s writing is to inspire and uplift dreamers and give a voice to the voiceless. Demond Alvarez was born in the heart of jazz and soul in New Orleans, Louisiana. The author attended Southern University @ New Orleans where he received a BA in Business Administration. He is also a licensed massage therapist who touches the lives of countless people through massage therapy. I have been featured on blogs, and TV, and radio and magazines all over the world.

Demond loves sharing his books, motivational speaking and traveling around the world. The author currently resides in Houston, TX where he is an advocate for overcoming depression because of his own personal struggle at one time in his life with this mental illness.

Q&A:

 

 What do you do and Why do you do it?
I am a creative writer, author, host.
 Tell us about your most recent work.
The critically acclaimed Lyrical Soul: Lyrical Quotes for the Mind, Body and Spirit is the author’s second creative gift to the world. Lyrical Soul is a positive book of quotes and positive affirmations for women of all ages and backgrounds. Its set to spark the inner warrior in any woman who picks up the book and reads it, to touch her inner glow so inspire her to be greatest person she can be.
 Who inspires you?
Those who just go for it meaning people who no matter what just put their, gifts and talents out there and have no apologies about doing so and just going for what they love in this world. Individuals who never give up and don’t worry about the naysayers and doubters have to say. Individuals who are just normal every day people who do extraordinary things. People who use their talents to for positive things and show that hey if i can do this so can you. Iron sharpens Iron
 What do you consider your “Masterpiece” at this time?soul of a man
My master piece at this time would have to be all of my works. I am an artist and i am always coming up and, doing creative things. This journey takes you down so many different avenues. I love them all uniquely they are an extension of my self and of my creativity. It’s almost like asking a parent which child is your favorite. It is just one of those things where your works are a part of you and you are part of them. If i was to pick one out of all of them so far it is probably Lyrical Soul.
 What is your motto in life?
No one can showcase your talents like you can. Dream Big so you can Achieve Bigger.
 Name your wildest dream. The one you can not imagine achieving, but would love for it to come true.
My wildest dream would be to sit across Barack Obama and just talk to him about his time in the white house and staying cool under pressure. Ask him what does it take to be break in a world where people have such harsh judgments about you. What was it to inspire so many people you would never get to meet in your lifetime, but to always be remembered throughout all time as someone who achieved the impossible.
 What is your favorite quote?
Heart Of a Lion Soul Of a Man we need to have the pride of the lion, but still remember that we are human, but we can be the kings and queens of our own jungles.
When it is all said and done, what would you like to be remembered for?

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©Demond Alverez used with permission

Someone who shared his talents with the world and inspired people long after he was gone. He left his mark on the world though laughter and, he gave people hope and made them think that there was no box. He made people go for their dreams and goals, and to be happy and for them to be the change that they truly wanted. Touched the lives of the world of people from all back grounds.
 Tell us about your next project and when will it be available to the public?
The next book that is coming out is the Secret Church Wives which is going to be my first novel. That should be out right after the summer. This book i am really excited about, to tell the other story of the women behind the church and so their stories and secrets can finally be told.
Where can fans purchase your work?
soulofaman504.com for an autographed copy or Amazon 

Social Media:

demond

©Demond Alverez used with permission

Instagram –  @soulofaman504

Twitter – @soulofaman504

Facebook – @demondal

Website –  soulofaman504.com

My First Book Signing Experience

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AAA FestSo I did this thing this past weekend. I decided to step way out of my comfort zone and participate in the AAA Book Festival in Atlanta. Why would you do this, you might ask. Well, they say if you want different results, you have to do something you’ve never done before. Plus, I know that getting out and mingling with book readers in person is a great way to find new readers for my books.  Here’s the tea on what went down:

 

The Prep:

I spent weeks preparing for this festival. First I paid the fee to become a vendor and that’s when the real work began. I toiled and slaved trying to finish the sequel to The Mistreatment of Zora Langston to no avail. I was only able to get about 12,000 words written in her next story because my inspiration changed in the middle of writing. Instead, I turned my focus to another tale.

It started out as a short story for an anthology I was asked to participate in. That was short lived when I was told the maximum amount of words for the anthology was 200. I was like What? Who writes a short story in 200 words or less, but I digress. That would never do for the idea I had so I wrote a different short story for the anthology. I loved the story I was originally writing so much that I was compelled to finish it. The writer in me had to see where the story ended up. I ended up finishing the story, but the dilemma was I was too close to the book event to have it edited, published and printed. My solution was to offer it as a pre-order at the book signing, along with the sequel to Zora’s story. That worked because I already had the artwork for both covers.

In between writing, I took inventory of my stock of books, ordered more to be sure I

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©Emory Rose Photography used with permission

had enough for the event. I also ordered bookmarks, postcards and a ton of other swag to display on the table. I even tried my hand at hand painting coffee mugs. A couple turned out great, but the one mug… let’s just say it would ruin my brand if anyone ever saw it. I have decided I am no artist, but you can’t blame a girl for trying. However, I am pretty crafty so I was able to make a few bracelets to sell at the show. The bracelets turned out great!

The Plan:

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©Emory Rose Photography used with permission

I decided I was going to go all out, this being my first book signing. I wanted to buy a nice new outfit, get my hair braided and spend a ton of money that I didn’t have on this thing. I quickly came to my senses. I went shopping, but apparently the universe was telling me to sit down some where because I couldn’t find anything I wanted to wear. I took a look in my closet and decided on a nice summer dress that has been hanging in the closet for a few years. I have worn it a few times, but not often. Wardrobe – Check! As far as my hair, I simply washed it and twisted it so it would look good on the day. Hair – Done!

I also had the big idea that I was going to take 10 of each book to the festival with the goal of coming home without any books! I knew it was an ambitious goal, but hey I aim big. lol Anyway I think it would have been doable.

Reality:

So there I was all packed and ready to go. My husband, who has been amazing through this whole process, loaded the truck and we headed to Atlanta. It is only a two hour drive so it wasn’t that bad of a ride. We got there a day ahead to make sure there weren’t any time issues.

Saturday was the big day and we had to be at the venue around 8:30 AM for setup. I knew it wouldn’t take an hour and a half to setup my table so we arrived around 9 AM. The check-in was smooth. I got my assigned table number and we were off. Things were well organized and some of the other authors were very curious as to how I was setting up my table. I was in go mode so I didn’t make a lot of time for chatting until after I was finished making sure everything was perfect. As soon as I was finished wiping the sweat from my brow, it was go time.

First order of business was to locate fellow author Yecheilyah Ysrayl and finally meetEC her in person. We have been online friends for about three years, supporting each other’s work and helping each other with marketing and promotions. I was thrilled to finally hug her. She is such a special lady. Someone came to her table inquiring about her book so that was short lived.

Soon after that I had two visitors at my table. One was a gentleman named Keith who looked at my display and purchased two books immediately! I was thrilled thinking the day was going to go great if this was any indication. I signed his books, but he he was camera shy so I didn’t get a picture.

AAA Book Event Aleatha Banks - CropRight as I was finishing up that sale, one of my avid readers appeared all smiles. Aleatha is a member of my reader’s group L’s Lovebirds that I have for my L. Loren pen name. She is always very active and has made friends with several of the other members. I was happy to meet her in person. She is from my home town and attended my high school, but I am a few years older than she is so I hadn’t met her yet. I was thrilled to say the least. Because her birthday is the 17th of July and mine is the 19th we share a special bond. Aleatha purchased two books as well.

 I was off to a great start! 4 books in ten minutes! Woo Hoo!!! Well that excitement wore off after sitting and waiting for people to show up. Customers were few and far between. I was disappointed to say the least. you can’t sell books if no one is there. A few people trickled in and started coming through the aisles. I talked to everyone who passed by and tried to get them to come t my table. People stopped and inquired. Most of them were looking for children’s books, thinking that Zora was one. I made sure to explain the true content of the book and made sure they knew it wasn’t for a young audience.

Time passed and as I looked around the room, I could tell the other authors weren’t Lisa Williamsfairing any better than I was. We visited each other’s booths and chatted, but still no public. Thank God I send invitations to people I knew in the Atlanta area. I had a few friends come out just to support me. I was very surprised to see a high school classmate, who I had not seen since we graduated, come out just to buy my book! She actually purchased two and promised to go online and look at the rest of my catalog. I was so happy to see Lisa Williams and her beautiful daughter come out to support me.

DreMy now grown nephew, who is quite the looker, surprised me by showing up with another former classmate of mine. I was over the moon to see my sister’s youngest son Andre. I still can’t believe he is a college graduate and living his best life on his own in Atlanta. Where did the time go? My high school classmate was good friends with Andre’s father and decided to come out to show some love as well. Mark is a veteran who was serving in Afghanistan and is now home safely, thank god!

My good friend Roni and her husband also stopped by and The Williamspurchased a total of four books! She always shows up and shows out. I am lucky to have a friend who supports my dreams. I had a few more sales that day from people I did not know, but the bulk came from friends and family.

As I was packing up for the day, the daughter of a good friend came by to show love and support. She wanted to buy, so I opened up the crates and she purchased three books! Thanks for coming out Lai.

LaiOverall it was an amazing first experience. I sold a few books and got to see some people who I haven’t seen in a while. I also made some new author friends in the process. Even though I didn’t make my sales goal, I enjoyed the day and am looking forward to my next event.

Indie Shine – Wenda Bien- Aime

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Welcome to another edition of Indie Shine, a place for Rebirthoflisa to shine the spotlight on indie artists. Today we welcome author Wenda Bien-Aime

Bein-Aime2

©Wenda Bien-Aime used with permission

Q & A

What do you do and Why do you do it? 
I am independent author of fiction literature and interactive self-help journals. Like many authors, I can remember writing from as early as 11. I can even remember using on of those old typewriters (I’m telling my age LOL) to write a short story about best friends on a shopping adventure at the mall.
I write because it is my calling and there is no way I can escape it. My purpose on this journey is to help others heal and to enlighten through story-telling or journaling. Even when I have tried to walk away from writing, I am led right back to it.
For example, I remember working at a call center as a customer service representative. Somehow, I ended up as a recurring contributing writer for the company’s monthly newsletter.
Tell us about your most recent work. Bein-Aime3
My most recent novel is Koko: A Novel. Koko is loosely based on a few friends of mine. The main character is twenty-seven-year-old Koreen Wilson, a reality star and video vixen who loves her fiancé but can’t stop cheating on him because she’s into spontaneity and kinky sex and he isn’t. She claims to love him but continuously cheats on him with both men and women.
The book also featured her 2 of her best friends: Ivonka Roux and Desiree Loren (No relation to L. Loren! LOL) Ivonka is a 38-year-old woman who feels as if time is running out for her to get married and have children. She continuously bypass red flags in relationships just to get to the altar.
Desiree Loren is the baby of the trio at 24-year-old. Being married to a wealthy man nearly three times her age isn’t all it’s cracked up to be, as she deal with infidelity, depression, and raising six children.
Who inspires you? 
Other writers and authors inspire me. As a matter of fact, in 2011, I had a chance to sign with a publishing company and passed on it due to a very dark and challenging time in my life. I had written a short sci-fi for my English professor and she liked it so much, she encouraged me to find a publisher. I did but the timing was wrong. I was going through so much at during that time, I stopped writing.
I never thought I would write again until I joined a Facebook group for Black writers in 2016 (Shout out to W.B.A.C.). A lot of those writers in that group are undiscovered gems.They inspired me to pick up my pen and start writing again. As far as well-known writers, Eric Jerome Dickey (my mentor in my head LOL), Terri McMillan, and Daaimah S. Poole are my inspirations.
What do you consider your “Masterpiece” at this time? 
My masterpiece has yet to be written. With every book I write, I put in effort to be better than the last. I study the work of vets in the industry to try to perfect imagery and dialogue.
Wenda quoteWhat is your motto in life?
Nothing happens overnight, you have to put in that work. Think of it as planting seeds. Eventually, it’ll be time to harvest and enjoy the fruits of your labor.
Name your wildest dream. The one you can not imagine achieving, but would love for it to come true. 
My wildest dream would be to collaborate with Eric Jerome Dickey or even be mentored by him 🙂
What is your favorite quote? 
“Be careful how you treat people. What you do to others has a funny way of coming back on you.” Not sure who said it first.
When it is all said and done, what would you like to be remembered for?
I would love to be remembered for creating a classic novel with a life changing message.
Tell us about your next project and when will it be available to the public? 
I am currently working on Pick Me Blues, which will be book 5 of the Koko series. That should be available, hopefully, by the end of this month. (Now Available Click Here
Where can fans purchase your work?
My work is available on Amazon, Audible, iTunes, and on my website at www.myindiebooks.com.

Bio:

Bien-Aime

©Wenda Bien-Aime used with permission

Wenda Bien-Aime was born on September 9th, 1982 in Miami, FL to Haitian immigrants. She is the eldest of 3 girls and has one daughter. Wenda began her writing journey at the age of 11. She writes under pen name, Bien-Aime Wenda to honor her late father who had no sons to carry on his last name.Her erotic work can be found under pen name, Candy B. Vixen. Wenda enjoys dabbling in different genres including science fiction, fantasy, contemporary fiction, poetry, children’s literature, and erotica.

Social Media:

Facebook: @MyIndieBooks or @CandyBVix

Instagram: @myindiebooks