25 Days of Christmas – Day 11 Bad Santa

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bad santa

This movie is a rather unorthodox Christmas movies and should only be seen by adults. Billy Bob Thornton stars as a drunk criminal who gets jobs as Santa Claus each holiday season and robs the mall blind at closing on Christmas Eve. He works with an accomplice who plays his elf. John Ritter appears as their boss and this is his last film appearance before his death. This is not a Santa you want your kids anywhere near. He is vulgar, drinks liquor like water, frequents prostitutes and takes advantage of a lonely little boy who lives with a senile grandma while his father is incarcerated. Instead of a whole synopsis I decided to do a Christmas Carol set to the tune of 12 Days of Christmas. Check it out:

On the first day of Christmas
Bad Santa stole from me:
A Porn Magazine

On the second day of Christmas
Bad Santa stole from me:
Two Butt Plugs
And a Porn Magazine

On the third day of Christmas
Bad Santa stole from me:
Three French Kisses
Two Butt Plugs
And a Porn Magazine

On the fourth day of Christmas
Bad Santa stole from me:
Four Call Girls
Three French Kisses
Two Butt Plugs
And a Porn Magazine

On the fifth day of Christmas
Bad Santa stole from me:
Five Bottles of Jim Beam
Four Call Girls
Three French Kisses
Two Butt Plugs
And a Porn Magazines

On the sixth day of Christmas
Bad Santa stole from me:
Six Elves a Stealing
Five Bottles of Jim Beam
Four Call Girls
Three French Kisses
Two Butt Plugs
And a Porn Magazine

On the seventh day of Christmas
Bad Santa stole from me:
Seven Pink Elephants a Bleeding
Six Elves a Stealing
Five Bottles of Jim Beam
Four Call Girls
Three French Kisses
Two Butt Plugs
And a Porn Magazine

On the eighth day of Christmas
Bad Santa stole from me:
Eight Kids Making Sandwiches
Seven Pink Elephants a Bleeding
Six Elves a Stealing
Five Bottles of Jim Beam
Four Call Girls
Three French Kisses
Two Butt Plugs
And a Porn Magazine

On the ninth day of Christmas
Bad Santa stole from me:
Nine Strippers Dancing
Eight Kids Making Sandwiches
Seven Pink Elephants a Bleeding
Six Elves a Stealing
Five Bottles of Jim Beam
Four Call Girls
Three French Kisses
Two Butt Plugs
And a Porn Magazine

On the tenth day of Christmas
Bad Santa stole from me:
Ten Police Chases
Nine Strippers Dancing
Eight Kids Making Sandwiches
Seven Pink Elephants a Bleeding
Six Elves a Stealing
Five Bottles of Jim Beam
Four Call Girls
Three French Kisses
Two Butt Plugs
And a Porn Magazine

On the eleventh day of Christmas
Bad Santa stole from me:
Eleven Pipes of Crack
Ten Police Chases
Nine Strippers Dancing
Eight Kids Making Sandwiches
Seven Pink Elephants Bleeding
Six Elves a Stealing
Five Bottles of Jim Beam
Four Call Girls
Three French Kisses
Two Butt Plugs
And a Porn Magazine

On the twelfth day of Christmas
Bad Santa stole from me:
12 Security Guards to Run Over
Eleven Pipes of Crack
Ten Police Chases
Nine Strippers Dancing
Eight Kids Making Sandwiches
Seven Pink Elephants Bleeding
Six Elves a Stealing
Five Bottles of Jim Beam
Four Call Girls
Three French Kisses
Two Butt Plugs
And a Porn Magazine

christmas

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