The first day of the 25 Days of Christmas Challenge is here! The first movie of the challenge is Christmas Vacation. This is hands down my favorite Christmas Movie ever! I can watch this movie anytime of the year and have. No matter how many times I see it, I always laugh loudly at the silliness and tom foolery. Chevy Chase earned comedic genius status with this one movie.
My name is Clark W. Griswold and I am the ultimate family man. A dying breed, I vow to replenish with my last breath. I live in a quiet suburb in Chicago with my wife Ellen, daughter Audrey and son Rusty. This year will be the happiest Christmas ever because my parents are coming to celebrate with us. Little did I know my wife invited her parents as well. This is not a problem, however my in-laws don’t like me very much. I have planned a surprise for my family and will use my Christmas Bonus to put in a pool. I had to write a bum check to the contractor for a deposit and I need that bonus to come. I usually have it by now and I am sweating my balls off waiting for it.
In the meantime I drug my wife and kids out to the middle of nowhere to choose our family tree. We almost died on the highway because of some rednecks playing around, but everything worked out. We trekked for miles through the deep snow, just like our ancestors used to, and chose the best tree ever. Only one problem, I forgot the saw and had to dig it up. I was sorely embarrassed that my son witnessed this, but at least he will remember his dad loved him when he has his own family. The tree was way too big to fit in our house so I had to trim it a bit. I made it work and it was beautiful.
Check this out, I spent hours outside in the frigid cold decorating my house with lights only to find they do not work. I must have check over 1000 bulbs by hand when finally after several attempts it works magically. I really had no clue what I was doing and really started the project to get away from my crazy in-laws. As we were admiring the lights my worthless cousin-in-law Eddie shows up in a ratty old RV with his wife and kids in tow. As we drink egg nog from our Wally World mugs, he announces they will not be leaving until next month. To make matters worse this idiot hasn’t worked in 7 years because he’s holding out for a management position. As a result my wife and feel compelled to buy presents for his kids so they will not feel left out. This is adding more pressure on me getting this bonus.
My cousin-in-law’s wife volunteered to cook the turkey for Christmas Eve dinner and the crazy woman overcooked it so bad it disintegrated when I cut it. We were forced to eat the sides, one of which was a Jell-o mold made by Aunt Bethany, which had cat food as a garnish. Speaking of cats, Bethany’s just chewed the lights from the tree and killed itself and ruined a great chair in the process. The snotty dog that Eddie let in the house has destroyed the kitchen trash looking for food. After dinner Uncle Lewis lights his stogie and burns up my beautiful Christmas tree. At this point I lose it and decide to cut down a tree in my front yard, which causes conflict with a neighbor that I hate. Meanwhile, I’m still waiting for my bonus, but find a stranger at my door with a jelly of the month club enrollment. I flip my lid and curse my boss for filth, which prompts Eddie to kidnap the man and bring him to my house wrapped in a big red bow. Before Eddie can return from his kidnapping adventure, a squirrel holds us hostage in our own home causing a comical chain of events that ends with my nosey neighbor being torn to bits by Snot the dog. The night ends after the police and swat team destroy my house and my boss decides to reinstate bonuses. I did it; I had a successful holiday with family. I’m the hap, hap, happiest man alive and can’t wait for next year!