Single Ladies (Keep Your Head Up) – NaBloPoMo #29

I wanted to address something that has been on my mind for a minute and that is the way some women accept any kind of treatment from a man. Today I was perusing Facebook and ran across a video from this guy who says men don’t want a good woman. At first I wanted to scream on him, but I calmed myself and listened to what he was saying. He was essentially saying there is a generation of men, under 30, who are lazy, don’t want to work and want a weak woman who will take care of them and do everything for them. He says those men are intimidated be good women because they are too strong and will require too much of them. I was blown away at his honesty.

After watching this video I started thinking about the old adage that a woman has the exact love life she wants because she is in control of everything. Think about it ladies, if you allow a man to get away with being lazy or disrespectful then he will continue. If you check him the first time he shows that kind of behavior, he knows he can’t get over on you and will think twice before acting out of character.

There seems to be something lost in translation from my generation of 40 somethings and the generation coming up behind us. The females for the most part seem to think because there is a so called shortage of men; they have to accept bad behavior. They are also under the impression if a guy buys you dinner at a half way decent restaurant, say Chili’s or Applebee’s, you are obligated to sleep with him. This is a new concept that I just can’t get with. I am soo thankful I am happily married and don’t have to deal with this mentality, but I have nieces and friends that are still in the trenches dealing with this.

Guys expect a little something at the end of the night these days and will not hesitate to get belligerent if they are denied. Whatever happened to the days when a young man would ask a young lady out for a date with only the expectations of paying for the date and having a nice time? At the end of the night it was a bonus to get a good night kiss. Now guys don’t really even ask, they tell you that you are going out and expect you to either go dutch or pay the entire bill. If that is not bad enough, he is expecting his happy ending at the end of the night.

Ladies you need to take your control back if you want to see different results. Show a man how to treat you and do not accept anything less because you are worth it. Stop dating these bums who want you to be their mama and want you on your knees giving brain within 5 hours of meeting them. Realize your sexuality is a powerful weapon and you should wield it cautiously even when you are committed to each other. Now I am not naive and do not expect people not to engage in sex while dating, I am simply saying just because you are burning with desire doesn’t mean you have to give in to it. He will value the sex and you more if he has to work for it. If he is not willing to wait and put in the work, you just saved yourself some heartache because he wasn’t going to stick around anyway. You hold the cards! A male is going to try and play your hand. It’s your choice to either show your cards or bluff.

This topic reminds me of the first verse of Tupac’s song “Keep Your Head up”. We need to question the reason some young men hate our women and is this the reason we have a race of babies who hate the ladies?