The Evil Empire Comes to Town!

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Writing 101: Day 15 – Your Voice Will Find You
You’re told that an event that’s dear to your heart- an annual fair, festival or conference – will be cancelled forever (or taken over by an evil organization). Write about it. For your twist, read your piece aloud, multiple times. Hone that voice of yours!

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Anyone who knows me knows that I am a die hard Tennessee Lady Vols Basketball Fan. I have loved this team and the coaches since the early nineties. Pat Summitt is one of the people I admire most in the world and I have attended several South Eastern Conference (SEC) Women’s Basketball Tournaments in my day. The expression “I Bleed Orange” is an understatement when you’re talking women’s basketball. I am such a fan that I have been known to drag my poor husband, who is from Wisconsin and has not figured out that basketball is a religion in the South, to countless games and tournaments. It’s all about the Lady Vols in our house. I even have our office decorated with LV memorabilia and posters.

For some time now, The Lady Vols have been at odds against the University of Connecticut (UCONN) Huskies. UT fans absolutely despise anything or anyone associated with Storrs, CT and we especially can’t stomach the face of Geno Auriemma, head coach of the women’s basketball team. The fans in CT feel the same about us.

So you can understand my disgust when I read about the recent changes in the upcoming season. I have just found out the UCONN Huskies have left the Big East conference and will now be competing in the SEC! This all came about when the Big East conference decided to split and UCONN wanted no parts of this division. The powers that be decided instead of taking the helm in the new AAC, they were better suited for the SEC. Of course the SEC welcomed them with open arms as they are the reigning NCAA champs and will bring in a boat load of cash. It’s the takeover move that we as fans have feared for years! How in the world can you justify moving a team that helms from the land of ice and snow and say they will play in the SOUTHeastern Conference? The UT fans are going CRAZY!

I can’t believe these greedy so and sos are putting the “Evil Empire” in our conference! It is an outrage and an insult to Pat Summitt’s legacy. Not only will Geno play against Tennessee on a regular basis, “his evilness” will taint the sacred grounds of TBA, that’s Thompson- Boling Arena to non sports fans. His team will actually spew their darkness on “The Summitt”. Whoever thought this was a good idea must have been drinking!

Several fans have expressed their discord and are threatening to sell their season tickets. Students and fans alike are organizing a boycott of the home game against UCONN and are refusing to allow their bus on campus. The governor may have to deem this a state of emergency and declare Knoxville a disaster area! There will be civil unrest in the streets and expect to have non-violent protests in Summitt Plaza. We MUST protect our house!

****NOTE**** This is clearly a satirical post and to be very clear, this trageshammockery will never take place in the real world.

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